growing up

Actual conversation with my 10-year-old:

Me: So, did you have the talk at school or did you miss it?

Grant: I didn’t miss it.

Me: Oh. Dad thought maybe you did. Well?

Grant: I don’t know if I should talk about it.

Me: Oh. Well, I never had that talk. I mean I had a talk. But I never had the boy talk, obviously. So I don’t know what they told you. But why don’t you think you should talk about it?

Grant: It’s kinda embarrassing.

Me: Oh. Well, did you talk to dad about it?

Grant: No. And they said we’d have another talk next year and then another one in high school. But I guess I can tell you a little bit. I know all about it now.

I know about the sperm and the egg, mom.

Me: (inner voice:) Holy %&$*#@! hell. They told him that?! (Outer voice:) Oh, yeah. That. Well, yeah.

Grant: And I get all that part. The part I don’t get is how the girl part and boy part get together in the first place.

Me: (Laughing.) Well, I guess maybe you’ll learn that part next year.

(GULP)

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