the nurse. times three.

I picked up my kids at school today so they wouldn’t have to ride the bus home. They are now officially car riders on the way home and bus riders on the way to school. This elaborate plan comes about since it now takes them almost an hour to ride what is only about 2 miles. The genius plan that was supposed to help out the school’s budget now has our kids on the bus for … well, forever.

Anyway, I picked the kids up today and our oldest immediately tells me, “I went to the nurse three times today.” This is after we already got a call from her the SECOND DAY of school because he was wheezing and needed his inhaler. I looked at him and said, “What in the world are you doing going there that many times? This woman is going to think we’re beating you or something.” He said, “Yeah, right Mom. I have huge bumps on my legs and I couldn’t stop itching.”

I tell you what … this kid is the most sensitive little guy ever. The kid woke up this morning with no fewer than four HUGE, RED bumps on his skinny little legs. We were freaking out because this is not the first time this has happened to him while he sleeps. So I’m all freaking out and ripping sheets off the bed and looking for a brown recluse spider family that was feasting on my oldest son’s legs at night. Or bed bugs from hell or SOMETHING.

I found nothing other than a ton of stupid-ass Webkinz huddled in the corner of the bed.

So once we get home, he says, “Mom, you gotta see this one on my leg. It’s huge and getting bigger.” At this point I figure he’s just wimpy, cause he can be. I mean, christ, I saw them this morning. They are BUG BITES. They itch. GET. OVER. IT. Finally, I glance over half-assed and notice A HUGE SWOLLEN KNOB on his shin.

Holy shit pie. The kid is blowing up.

“The nurse said I might need some Benadryl.”

Uh, yeah. You think?

I immediately look all over the very-messy fridge for the nurse’s number and can’t find it … so I call the front desk instead. Hoping the nurse is still there …

“Uh, hi. This is Kasey Jackson, and my son was in your office today like, oh, I don’t know, a zillion times.”

She laughed. Really hard. Then said, “Yeah, he was in about three times and by the end of the day, his leg really popped up with a huge goose egg.”

So we talk and she assures me she believes the bites to be mosquito bites, and we figure he probably got them the night before when riding his bike outside around dusk. Duh. I guess he needs some DEET of the most powerful kind. Kid is getting EATEN ALIVE. I kept saying over and over, “Are you sure it doesn’t look like a brown recluse spider bite? How about a black widow?”

She probably thinks, “WHY DOES THIS WOMAN KEEP SAYING SHIT ABOUT SPIDERS??” I’m guessing she thinks I’m a freak. At this point, the only thing going through my mind is “Please don’t call Child Services on my ass. This kid looks like he’s been beaten.”


Not that you care, but I guess I share this story so you all know I didn’t beat him, but I also don’t bother to EVER use bug spray. I think I’ve learned a lesson. If I don’t want my kids to blow up like balloons with allergic reactions to MOSQUITO bites, I’ll invest in some stinky spray.

Lesson learned. 😦

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